Blue Junction (Bar, Restaurant)

SM4? Have we suddenly adopted a new postcode system in the capital? Since when has ‘SM’ been a London address? Perhaps Morden is actually further out than the tube map might have us believe - like in France (Bienvenue à Morda’). Or perhaps Morden is a Shire in one of Tolkien’s fantasy realms? Visiting ‘The Blue Junction in Morden’ does sound a bit like something Gandolf and his gay wizard mates might do whilst having time off from Hobbit-saving, wouldn’t you say?

Sure enough, Blue Junction is a long way out of town (“three days ride to Morden,” Gandolf might say) and it’s in an area that is (*sweeping generalisation approaching) about as fun as being forced to scuba dive in the Dead Sea, WITHOUT wearing goggles! Plus, it’s hidden amongst a generous thicket of funeral directors, financial advisors and estate agents. Not wondrously appealing so far, hey?

But wait, do you remember Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams? “Build it and they will come,” the voices told him. Blue Junction’s Kevin Costner is Bombay Sebastian, the jolly head chef, a man so friendly and hyperactive he must surely be snorting those extra strong chillis he uses so readily in his delectable dishes. Sebastian has built his field of dreams in the most unlikely of spots and now he is looking to the horizon. And you know what, something big might just be about to happen.

Soon the dank old shops across the road might be transformed into niche market boutiques that sell fashion trends for toddlers and organic yogic cheese. Before you can say, “But my car’s electric” the ring road that defiantly surrounds Blue Junction like a concrete moat will be torn down by Uncle Ken’s Congestion Charge Zone Extension and the whole thing will become a pedestrianised childrens petting zoo.

And Sebastian will stand proudly with arms folded in front of Blue Junction, surveying the scene. He will think to himself, “I KNEW the future. I KNEW the people of Morden wanted Asian tapas. I KNEW the people of Morden wanted sleek, modern interiors. I KNEW the people of Morden needed floor-to-ceiling mirrors, booths and glass fronting. I KNEW the people of Morden wanted a happy hour lasting 120 minutes. I KNEW the people of Morden wanted a range of cocktails, spirits, wines and draught beers that could outclass the city venues in quality AND price. I KNEW the future was on its way. I KNEW that the people were ready. I KNEW, I KNEW.”

What he didn’t know was this little gem was good enough for ALL Londoners. Does Morden deserve Blue Junction? Well, we cant let Tooting hog all the great food joints.

He knows. Otherwise 7 out of 10...read more