Planet Hollywood London (Bar, Restaurant)

Top 10 things you need to know about Planet Hollywood London:

1) Having never been to a Planet Hollywood restaurant before – I was always more of a Hard Rock Café kid growing up – I was apprehensive of entering the fray of Piccadilly Circus on the eve of a Bank Holiday weekend, for an evening of film fandom and fast food. What I got instead was one of the most entertaining nights on the town I’ve had in quite some time.

2) For the uninitiated: Planet Hollywood combines props lifted from major Hollywood productions with blaring multimedia and a simple but crowd-pleasing menu. It’s a staggeringly effective formula if you can get past the extreme kitsch, as I discovered upon entering the barn-like surroundings of the Haymarket branch.

3) Although I’m not much a film buff, I was quickly reduced to fan-boy hysteria by the Tinseltown trinkets lining the walls: there’s Indiana Jones’ whip! Zed’s chopper! Rocky’s cow’s carcass! Han Solo in Carbonite! Truly these are the pillars of Hollywood yore.

4) A round of drinks yielded the “Terminator” – a conceptually amusing but otherwise uninspiring vodka cocktail – a moreish lychee martini and a fairly convincing caipirinha.

5) Meanwhile, our slider and Chicken Crunch appetisers left a little to be desired, and the jury was still very much out.

6) Things really picked up around the main course – delicious, DIY chicken fajitas – when the resident DJ hit the button marked “Guilty Pleasures”, and hit after hit was blasted through the soundsystem and ubiquitous TVs.

7) I suddenly found myself singing along to “Let It Go” and “I Want It That Way” with the rest of the open-plan ground floor crowd. Groups of teens got up and danced the Macarena, with the spectacle relayed onscreen by the venue’s close-circuit cameras.

8) At one point my name appeared on the big screen, along with other personalised messages sent via text, and despite my usually demure and cynical worldview, I got a vicarious movie star thrill.

9) By the time a ridiculously decadent Knickerbocker Glory was presented to me by the all-smiling staff, I was utterly won over by the camp, the fun, and the sheer joy of nearly everyone in the room.

10) Planet Hollywood, then: it’s touristy, tacky and uncomplicated as hell; and therein lies its undeniable charm. Don't fight it, feel it....read more