Bordelaise (Bar, Restaurant)

Top 10 things to know about Bordelaise:

1) This all seems very familiar to you. The same feelings of comfort and adventure occurred when you last visited Brixton Market. Hail the gentrification of South-West London. Tooting is becoming a trendy hub for food and drink and you’re witnessing its ascent into Cooldom.

2) You love a restaurant that does one thing extremely well. Who cares if there are no toilets, or that you can only pay in cash?! You’re only here for one thing: medium rare flat iron steak with beef-dripping frites. (besides, there are market “facilities” next the hair braiding salons around the corner, and a cashpoint just out on the high street.)

3) The simple, tiny French bistro is laid out with couple-sized tables and a general waft of garlic.

4) Diners chat quietly enough so that conversations only partially bounce off the restaurant’s glass frontage for all to hear. Some lazy clientele instead choose to order takeaway truffled mac'n'cheese via the conduit of Deliveroo.

5) Arriving in a bad funk of a mood is not an issue. After a cheeky glass of bubbles, or goblet of Aperol spritz for a fiver, plus some succulent giant olives, bread with salted butter, and a selection of morbier, livarot and brie cheese, the sunshine will return.

6) During the main event, as you slip sumptuous, tender, sigh-inducing chunks of Scotch grass-fed beef into your willing mouth, your internal monologue congratulates the satisfying taste as well as your own ego for discovering such an inexpensive hidden gem, you smug bastard!

7) Prepare yourself for a little wait if the ox cheek marinated in signature bordelaise sauce is your dish of choice. Perfection cannot be rushed. Praise be the caramelised shallots!

8) This is also where you’ll find the best Sunday roast in Tooting; a merry five-minute dance from the Northern Line platform. The temptress creamed spinach and crispy coated chicken with dense protein interior produce waves of gratification that are near-on embarrassing in the public domain.

9) It is an error to order one chocolate fondant with salted caramel ice cream between two. You clearly need one each; to hell with sharing!

10) The restaurant’s market location means market prices, so no dish is more than £20 and no wine higher than £30. The Crossrail 2 development may well see the end of this lovely restaurant, so allez allez! Vite vite!...read more