The Jolly Gardeners (Bar)

Top 10 things you need to know about The Jolly Gardeners pub:

1) You need to be a social chameleon to navigate the tricky world of pub factions. Much like college, even pubs have their own cliques.

2) The Jolly Gardeners is one of those all-encompassing pubs that everyone finds hard to dislike, so you can almost observe different ecosystems in its various corners.

3) You would often find the zimmerframmers by the window, where sunlight and oxygen are abundant. If you’re not keen on chatting until the end of time, avoid these ageing venus fly traps.

4) The bar offerings are typical of the Putney; nothing out of the ordinary until you notice a neighbour polishing off a fine bottle of Natureo Syrah. It's de-alcoholised wine with 0.50% ABV. Importantly, it has nice structure and raspberry fruitiness and, above all, still tastes like wine.

5) Dishes like slow-cooked British short ribs could easily cause dental nightmares for the carnassial-deficient elder members of the pub, but here the meat gently slides off the bone like petals from a stalk. Sumptuously rich in texture and flavour, it would revive many an ageing palate.

6) My recommendation would be to avoid the sporting arena that constitutes the tables underneath the Sky Sports screens if conversations are a key component of your evening. The only banter that is permissible with sports fanatics is derisory remarks about the opposing team.

7) They have four enviable heated beach shacks in the beer garden named after the four seasons. You are likely to have been beaten to them by the whippersnapper generation who will probably reserve them in advance. A minimum spend of £20 per person for a group of six is unlikely to be of consequence.

8) The in-between regions of the pub are mostly occupied by families admiring the relaxed decor: a picturesque wall filled with flowerpots, birdcage lights and rowing equipment as befitting of the area's fine tradition.

9) In close proximity are the Putney shopping centre, Fulham football club and the charming section of the Thames, so it's hardly a surprise groups of all ages and backgrounds flock here.

10) For a pub that can attract a varied clientele, the Jolly Gardener undoubtedly has that winning combination....read more