The Punchbowl (Bar, Restaurant)

Top 10 things you need to know about The Punchbowl:

1) In search of media luminaries I came here with my autograph album, having heard that Guy Richie, Madonna and their ilk had some association with the place. Oh dear, I was to discover, that was so yesterday.

2) On entering a windowless, faux-Dickensian pub filled with Toby jugs and line drawings of thoroughbred hounds, I figured the celebrities must be hiding away in the semi-secluded booths.

3) Wrong on two counts: no celebrities and, as far back as 1750, this building really was a tavern. The low ceiling and wonky wall are Grade II Listed features.

4) This gastropub serves express meals at lunchtime and pub-grub throughout the day (until 10pm): juicy sausages with bubble and squeak mash, fish pies and, mercifully, a vegetable bake not overdosed with salt.

5) Still no autographs but seeing attractive types disappearing through a door I decided to follow – the superstars had to be somewhere.

6) I trod up the creaky (original) stairs to find a stage set. Darkness had been banished, light flooded the space and large pop art dominated the walls. A handsome designer restaurant, no less, with proper tables and elegant chairs.

7) Befitting the elevated tone, the culinary offerings are more refined. The scallops, as we are informed in all good restaurants nowadays, are ‘hand-dived’ - do they really taste any better than those collected by a trawler? - and good British fare dominates the menu: roast lamb, lemon sole, chateaubriand. Desserts are of the dark chocolate, apple crumble and toffee pudding type. Nothing exciting there.

8) But still no famous faces so I continued climbing and found a private dining room on the floor above. Looking like a gentleman’s club in Mayfair - fair enough, I suppose - it has a minimum spend of £500-£1000 for up to fourteen diners. Too cheap for the megastars I was seeking.

9) Top tip: find time to chat with Pandy and cut to the chase. Richie and Madonna decamped long ago but Pandy has worked here for sixteen years and seen it all. He can spill the beans on the neighbours and the street’s astronomical property prices.

10) So, no celebrities (and no punch either) but I left contented. Good food, a delightful watering hole and a sense of history – all within a stone’s throw of Berkeley Square. ...read more