Joanna's (Bar, Restaurant)

The stats spoke volumes: an undefeated, modern European; Time Out heavyweight; weighing in at roughly 30lb(£) a head. Three rounds with Joanna’s? I didn’t stand a chance.

I knew I was in for the VIP treatment as the Maitre’D ushered me through the ropes and I quickly engaged in a walnut bread and balsamic/olive oil dunking (not “Sainsbury’s own brand”, I’ll wager).

In the 1st round I went straight for the belly….of crispy pork. The meat, coached by an apple & ginger puree, fell softly, like a chinless rookie, into my open kisser.

Round 2 saw an awesome follow-through as a chargrilled fillet of steak (a meat so sweet and tender you could write a love song about it) adopted the Béarnaise sauce maneuver. The accompanying barrage of hand-cut chips and parmesan-covered courgettes tried, but did not finish me off. I could still win in the dessert round.

In Round 3 I heard the Vanilla ice-screams of the Banoffee family as they watched me munch their pancake children to death, along with the children of their close friends, the Almonds.

The decisive blows, however, came from a robust army of cheeses, including a fearsome Stilton, that were swilled down with a surprisingly adequate Syrah house red, the blood of my shameful defeat.

An impeccable display. It was a knockout!

Great restaurants have a wealth of talent under their belt and Joanna’s is no exception. She doesn’t just rely on her ever-evolving menu; she also brings aspects of Art Deco jazz and polished service to her game. Both of which I found unbeatable. My only gripe would be the location. It should be packing posh punches in Kensington or the French Riviera....read more