Marco Pierre White Wheeler's Oyster Bar & Grill (Bar, Restaurant)

Top 10 things you need to know about Wheeler’s Rib Room & Oyster Bar:

1) As a man of simple pleasures, I had high hopes for my visit to Wheeler’s Rib Room and Oyster Bar - a traditional City venue with a Ronseal name that dates back to the 1850’s. Things, however, were not quite as they seemed.

2) You see, Wheeler’s has recently been “resurrected” by über-chef Marco Pierre White, and shoots for old-school luxury and new-age chic. Unfortunately, it ends up falling short of both.

3) Situated next door to the five-star Threadneedles Hotel, the bar at Wheeler’s offers a plush and dimly-lit setting for post-work drinks and an oyster or twelve, but can’t fully shake its vaguely impersonal "hotel bar" vibe.

4) The restaurant section, meanwhile, is housed in one of the enormous former bank vaults that abound around Liverpool Street; its red leather banquettes, wrought-iron window decorations and trendy soundtrack swallowed up by the vast, under-populated expanse.

5) Marco himself stares out vacantly from a quartet of black and white portraits overlooking the kitchen, sharing wall space with a frankly bizarre series of abstract prints. Maybe this décor is de rigueur around Bishopsgate, but it jars horribly with the vintage setting.

6) The menu does its best to match to the venue’s mishmash of styles, its seafood-based entrées giving way to anything from chicken and shrimp curry to escalope of veal with fried duck eggs.

7) The côte de bœuf for two is easy on the eye and equally tasty, but exorbitantly priced and otherwise unremarkable: par for the course throughout the experience you’ll have.

8) Meanwhile, desserts – deconstructed sticky toffee pudding and a bafflingly elaborate take on sherry trifle - leave you yearning for a simple slice of cake. Then again, what doesn’t?

9) The drinks menu at least cuts straight to the chase, offering an ample selection of superb red and white wines, rounded out by bubbly and a distinctive array of gins and cocktails.

10) Despite the occasional glimpse of quality and craftsmanship, dinner at Wheeler’s is mainly a confusing and needlessly over-complicated experience, exacerbated by a poor turnout. Give me fish and chips out of a rolled up newspaper any day....read more