The Folly (Bar, Restaurant)

[article in The Acorn Chronicle – Britain’s bestselling newspaper for garden fellows]

Bill & Ben Flee Garden For Folly Fun

Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men escaped from their flowerbeds for a London night of fun, food, and flower cocktails at the City’s secret garden, The Folly.

The pair, who made their name nearly 60 years ago in the BBC series ‘Watch with Mother’ left their homes while the man who worked in the garden was having his dinner (as per usual) and avoided being discovered by London commuters on the Central Line to Bank station by disguising themselves as two City workers. According to the general manager of The Folly, the disguised duo went by the names Nina and Bryony.

“There was nothing too unusual about their demeanor,” says Foni, who was on duty that night. “I suppose they did look a little different to our Wednesday crowd of young bankers. We normally see men in Liberty print shirts and Toms shoes, while our female clientele have been clothed in coral cardigans and Alice bands this season. But Nina and Bryony, or Bill and Ben, were decked out in white dresses and Doc Marten boots.”

By 7:30pm the place was packed (not unusual for a weekday evening). The bar by the entrance was crowded and most tables were full. The two flowerpot flitters nabbed a table and surveyed their surroundings. They seemed most intrigued by the flowerpot lampshades and mini spice jars that had been re-fashioned as salt and pepper shakers. “They seemed to feel right at home sitting by the breeze block walls,” a fellow diner commented.

Sources from the kitchen say the two customers declined to share a bottle of wine, opting for two Folly special cocktails instead: a Dark ‘n’ Stormy and Gin Basil Smash.

“I was most impressed with their meal choices,” said the Head Chef. “They chose the ‘Fondue cider, stilton, chives & pulled ham’ dish and a plate of ‘Crispy squid, ginger, pink peppercorns and citrus mayo’ to start. The plates came back to the kitchen empty so they must have enjoyed them!”

Foni, the couple’s host for the evening, took their main order: ‘Chicken & Leek Pie’ and the ‘Seafood Risotto’, one of the Folly’s evening special dishes in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Foni remembers the two seemed flummoxed when asked what wine they’d like with their meal. “They seemed to panic a little and confessed they weren’t sure what to have. It’s common for customers not to know what wine to select. The waiting staff at The Folly are always prepared to make the selection for you and make the right choice of wine to compliment your meal. In this case I chose a glass of rosé for the seafood and a white for the chicken pie. Both diners were relieved and satisfied with the choices. It’s all part of the Folly service!”

It seems Bill and Ben, still in their guise as Nina and Bryony, were in no hurry to get back to the bottom of their suburban garden. They stayed for some pudding: ‘Chocolate Brownie with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream’ and ‘Lemon Peel Crème Brûlée’.

After dinner, the pair made their way across the crazy paving to the more tranquil - almost secret sanctuary - ‘Something Pop-Up shop’ where Folly mixologist, Cuan, made cocktails for them and spoke of the Folly’s mixology classes - “Each pupil can make three cocktails each, and drink them too!” - a two-hour lesson where pupils learn what goes in to making a mojito or martini at a fair £25pp.

Bill and Ben’s friends, Little Weed and Slowcoach the Tortoise, asked them, when they eventually returned well after midnight, why they felt the need to leave their English suburban garden for a night out. Bill and Ben answered: ‘Ooh flobberpos aah loblob buh slobbertops wuh jup nloop slop Folly flup!” According to Little Weed this translates to: “Our flowerpots are lovely but sometimes we just need some Folly fun!”

[In tomorrow’s addition of The Acorn Chronicle, we ask Parsley the Lion on what he thinks about the growing popularity of herb growing and the latest daft dalliances of Dill the Dog.]

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