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Lobby Lounge at Crowne Plaza (Restaurant, Hotel)

Picture of Lobby Lounge at Crowne Plaza in City of London, London

19 New Bridge Street, City of London, London, EC4V 6DB
Cuisine: British
Tel: 020 7438 8051 | Transport: Blackfriars | Write review

Lobby Lounge at Crowne Plaza Review

Best for: busy business blokes and blokettes who need to escape from the office but still need to do office stuff.

Great: for encouraging a bit of good old fashioned British boasting with the aid of the biggest burger served in the Blackfriars area.

From: Food Glorious Food & Co., Feeder Full Buildings, Yum Lane, London

To: Mr. Pork Pie Corner IV

Subject: Your curious absence from the plate

Dear Mr. Pork Pie Corner IV,

It's been brought to our attention that you neglected to make an appearance on the plate of Miss Nina Koo-Seen-Lin when she recently visited The Lobby Lounge at the Crowne Plaza Hotel for dinner. We believe you were due to take part in the Starter section of the Three Course Meal show (with guest appearances from a bottle of house wine and coffee). All your other partners -Messrs. Pork Pie Corner I, II & III – were in attendance along with a supporting act from Piccalilli and the Mixed Leaves.

We’re sorry you took it upon yourself to not show up, and we’re quite puzzled as to why. Your lack of appearance caused huge confusion. Though the Goat's Cheese on Sourdough Bread with Wild Mushrooms proved to be a rather tasty troupe, Messrs. Pork Pie Corner I, II & III were forced to spread (or rather sliced) in order to equally satisfy the needs of Miss Koo-Seen-Lin and her +1.

Please understand that Starters are an integral part of the meal. You may not be any part of the Main Course act, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less important, especially in The Lobby Lounge. A large majority of The Lobby Lounge clientele are businessmen who need their pork – they demand their pork pie - and believe us, we know these people love their pork in the shape of a WHOLE pork pie.

It's not unheard of during the lunchtime matinees for Lobby Lounge customers to request the Pork Pie dish and treat it like a Main Meal, so you can’t complain that you haven’t had the limelight every now and then. Not all Lobby Lounge customers can handle the cheeky Chicken Breast 'Bang Bang' dish (usually chosen for...ahem...late night performances anyway). Lunchtime customers often wander in to make use of the free WifI internet access, and grab a quick pork pie to munch on.

Never in the history of Food Glorious Food (FGF) have we had a problem with our mega-star main meal, The One Pounder (500g of English beef). It's not an easy task being the biggest burger in Blackfriars. This mighty main meal has had to take on the extra task of participating in the recurring ‘banker burger bout’ (a competition where customers compete to see who can finish the One Pounder burger first). Who gets next month's bonus depends on this competition; very important, I’m sure you’ll agree?

Thank goodness the rest of the main meals remained on their best behaviour for Miss Koo-Seen-Lin and her +1 who, in honour of Fish Friday, opted for the Sea Bass Fillet along with the Cod and Chips. Despite the fillet having its head and a few bones still attached, everything went most swimmingly (so to speak).

Desserts always come through with the sweet stuff. Tarts and cakes never need to be told twice to do their job of delighting our diners, especially the Baked Cheesecake and Lemon Curd Tart.

With no entertainment, piano players, singers, or magicians milling about, The Lobby Lounge is all about pleasing customers with the food. There's only so much time that guests can marvel at the chic, low-lit decor, massive chairs that make them feel like Alice (shrunk). Our cute, miniscule salt and pepper shakers can only be cooed at for so long until the tummies start grumbling and demand to be filled up with the best of British food. We do hope you will change when you join in next time.

On a separate matter, we must inform you that the Lobby lounge will need you to take part in the Fat Friar’s sharing platter on some occasions. You’ll be working with some Pickled Eggs, a few slices of Stilton, and a basket of Flour Power bread.

Yours sincerely,

Samuel Glorious

aka.
...read more

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