Lazybones (Restaurant)

Best for: slow-cooked fast food.

Great: City location, friendly staff and selection of drinks.

Lazy I am not, though my name may denote it,
Food long cooked and fast served,
In The City I may be, pretentious I cannot pretend to be.
But who am I?

Riddles are funny things. I love the idea of truly challenging my brain, breaking hidden codes that someone else has created to test me.

In reality - and to my utter frustration, annoyance and not a little denting of my pride - I rarely crack them. And yet here I am, offering you one of my own! And so some clues.

The answer to my riddle is located mere minutes from Farringdon Tube Station, hidden away in a little courtyard in The City of London.

Imagine the hoards of City workers on a summer’s evening, clutching a drink from the venue’s excellent selection – an Asahi, a pale ale, or even a cocktail – and periodically shifting to follow the last of the sun’s dying rays.

Moving inside, this bar and diner - now I’m making this easy for you! - has a fun, casual vibe: the charcoal-grey walls are covered in carefully arranged graffiti and pop-art in complementary greys and bright yellows; a black and white movie plays silently in the background; and you can just spot a hive of activity in the kitchen through the serving hatch, playfully decorated as a 1950s food van.

This is, of course, Smithfield’s latest no-bookings restaurant: Lazybones.

The menu is short and sweet and oh-so-reasonably priced (especially considering the location!) at around £7.50 per main, with enough to offer choice without bafflement; no brainteaser here! Regulars, though, may quickly become bored.

The bar snacks menu includes ‘DIY popcorn’, flavoured nuts and beer sticks, and on ordering your bag of popcorn, you’re directed towards Popcorn Pat – ‘the woman with the crazy eyes in the corner’ - to flavour it as you wish. I should add that Pat is one of the many characters on the wall, and whilst her flashing eyes do make her seem a little mental, the experience was a little puzzling, for want of a better word.

A clue to what Lazybones is all about and, one imagines, the inspiration for its name, is the food: succulently slow-cooked, and served up within minutes. It certainly doesn’t disappoint.

The pulled pork and slaw is cooked for eight hours in pale ale, fennel, honey and smoked paprika and, to my surprise, comes bulging out of a bun, topped with a home-made cabbage, carrot, beetroot, celeriac, radish and yoghurt slaw; a delicious, mouth-watering combination that was guzzled all too soon for my liking.

The roasted butternut squash and chickpea falafel wrap is an equally appetising dish, rich in flavour and moisture.

Lazybones also prides itself on its two-day marinated and twice cooked wings. Impossibly juicy and big enough to get your teeth into, they live up to expectations, although I’d suggest ordering them with an old friend; sticky BBQ sauce chin and fingers aren’t a great look for a first date.

Dishes are served in the obligatory fast food take-away boxes, which are not a personal favourite, but perfect for those City workers popping out for something to take back to their desks.

There is only one dessert option: a rich dark chocolate and toasted hazelnut brownie. Those wanting something else sweet may have to think outside the box and look to the cocktail menu instead, although if you brave the expresso martini, expect to be buzzing for the next few hours.

There really is no riddle here. Despite its name, there is nothing lazy about Lazybones: tasty slow-cooked food, served up fast by lovely staff. It’s the perfect spot for a quick lunchtime take-away, a snack and drink, or a sneaky after–work dinner that won’t break the bank. ...read more