Marco Pierre White Steakhouse Bar & Grill (Restaurant)

Top 10 things to know about Marco Pierre White Steakhouse:

1) Meander through Kew Gardens in the morn. Stroll along the river bank by midday. Picnic the afternoon away in 200 beautiful acres of Syon Park. Pay little attention to the peaceful cows in the field across the tranquil lake; they’re too busy munching long grass to care what you’re doing with those strawberries. Once inside the park’s walls, London simply fades away. Only low-flying, Heathrow-bound planes act as a reminder that, goodness, this isn’t the countryside after all. So, make a day of it!

2) Actually, make it a weekend, of the dirty variety: the Hilton Syon Park hotel and Kallima Club and Spa, within which the restaurant resides, should be your relaxing London getaway.

3) Marco Pierre White hasn’t only put his name to the restaurant. The chef’s face is on every wall too. There’s pensive Marco; tough Marco; moody Marco; rugged Marco. He’s even watching you from the menu. You cannot escape the MPW.

4) Which is a shame, because if this stylish restaurant was simply left as a Hilton hotel dining room, it would suffice. MPW’s presence provokes a certain level of expectation which, unfortunately, the food isn’t able to match.

5) The meat and fish focused, mass-printed menus look like they rarely change. The pork scratching nibbles are as stimulating as the lift music playlist (Gotye, Michael Kiwanuka, inoffensive jazz); the titular steaks are merely satisfactory; and the soggy sea bass leans too much on the accompanying chorizo for support. In a word: generic.

6) Whereas the sides - green beans and rosemary potato - are 50 shades of great; as are the suggested wines - Australian pinot grigio, Chilean sauvignon blanc and French muscat.

7) My tip: if the weather is clement, ask to be sat outside in the gorgeous alfresco courtyard where birds call, waters feature, and cushions cosy, all aiding in the eradication of MPW implications.

8) The chatty Renato, who skips with the élan of an experienced restaurant manager, makes all feel welcome. Sadly, his staff let him down by mislaying or misdelivering orders.

9) This is the Radio 1 of restaurants, where the regular people of London and the UK enjoy a posh, romantic evening.

10) For those Londoners with restaurant critic aspirations, this may not compare to the last meal you ate. The food lacks the character of Marco Pierre White, so eschew preconceived ideas of MPW meals and you might just enjoy it yet....read more