The Hoxton Pony Review

May 2008 was the date when the winds changed direction. One tatty Pool bar was badly in need of an overhaul (I dare you to argue otherwise) and along came a spot of talent, a dash of vision and a suitcase bursting with cash. Et voila, c’est la shifting winds. One Gerry Calabrese - former overlord to joints like Meet, Roast, the Cinnamon Club - joined forces with good pal Andy Pearson - allegedly the reigning UK Bartenders Guild National champion - and cooked up a big fat juicy pie of distinction. The crust of this pie was a smartly designed interior with a music-based filling. The designer - a former Ralph Lauren creative boffin - was given a handful of tunes and told “do that, but in bar form”. What he returned with was class without the la-di-da; neither ridiculous opulence nor shabby chic. Whilst seventy grand was spent just on glass alone, a load of scrap metal was whacked in as well to give it some of that juxtaposition stuff.

The upstairs is 60s conceptual art masquerading as non-coherent mess; but that’s the point. This is really an art installation that happens to serve the odd drink or two. I was befriended at the bar by a drunk trying to make sense of the stuffed owl scene behind it. See, sounds intriguing, right?

The descent into the basement cant make up its mind which after-life it likes best: big mirrors and white floors sing praises to the heavens yet at the same time it’s hotter than the Devil’s toaster. The floor has been sunk specifically for the purpose of boogey so I’m inclined to think the latter.

To say the music policy is broad would be like saying kids are rather partial to sweets. The DJ gobs out the full gamut of genres so if you’re looking to get into indie-rock, dub-dance ,ska-soul, kitsch-pop, beatbox, downbeat, upbeat, backbeat or deadbeat then this could well be your way in. And needless to say, as it’s Shoreditch, they’re required by law to play electro after midnight.

In terms of booze they have beers, wines, blah, blah and COCKTAILS!!! Boy, do they have cocktails! The Hoxton Ponies invented the world of cocktails. They’ve only been hiding it from us until now because they feared humanity might implode as a result of the shock. I saw a young whippersnapper of a gent naively making a bottle of BoringBeer his chosen beverage for the evening. The fool. You can lead a horse to water but..... This idiot had chosen to ignore the extensive range of bottles on the shelf - who knows what was in them, but it looked mighty impressive - as well as the highly original cocktail wallpaper right next to it. Yes, that’s ‘cocktail’ and ‘wallpaper’. Drink options printed on the wall and changed every 3 months. Meaning, you stare at it, you say “I want it”, you adhere to the element of continual freshness. Got it? It’s like Willa Wonka for adults. Bespoke creations designed by the Oompa-Loompa bar staff using weird science-project infusion liquids from jars that, guess what, they made themselves. Example: the Lady Grey is concocted with an alcoholic tea essence and what appears to be a sprinkle of magic unicorn dust. And they serve drinks in teacups. How delightfully cool.

The food is equally difficult to resist but on this front it’s very much “Oi oi East End boozer” fare. Only with a twist. The open plan kitchen whizzes out great plates until late. Posh pies, posh fish n chips and posh mashy-not-mushy peas. Done.

So who’s there? Tuesday sees pairs of ladies chatting their way through the night. Whereas come Friday, the Liverpool Street suit stranglers and the crazy jeans kids are in town. Overall, the occupancy is favoured heavily in the ladies corner (about 65%) so lads, take note.

Overall tips: use the side stairs to get to the loos as crossing the perilous dancefloor will ensure your martini ends up covering more of it than you will; plus, save precious eye-catching time by ignoring the wait at the bar and opting for table service instead. “Do you come here often?”...read more

The Hoxton Pony Description

The Hoxton Pony boasts some of the best cocktails in the whole of London. Gerry Calabrese has put together amazing bar staff who are all trained mixologists. The food is 'propa east end grub' which includes 'bangers and mash', 'fish n chips' and 'slow roasted pork belly'.

The decor is fresh bold and extravagent, with post box red tables, black leather chairs and two impressive bars. The whole venue is ridiculously intoxicating (a bit like the cocktails) but if you just want to dance and have a fabulous time, then The Hoxton Pony is for you!

Customer Reviews for The Hoxton Pony

Average (based on 13 votes): 13 Atmosphere: Value: Quality:

The following customer reviews are not endorsed by Fluid London and are simply those of users who wish to publish their independent experiences of The Hoxton Pony.

“Came here with the lads on a Wednesday for a few beers, ended up sampling some of the cocktails and was very impressed, never been a cocktail man before but they are really a touch of class. Came back on the Friday and had a great night. Great music, great people, great drinks, just a great bar. You got to give it a try 4.5/5”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
Steven Hawk, LONDON (1 years 3 months 20 days ago)

“The hoxton pony is a great club. I enjoy it every time I'm there. Good vibe, great music, amazing decor and the whole atmosphere. Best bands play there all the times and only best djs spin their records. One of my favourite places in London.”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
Ms Lin Alvaro, London (1 years 4 months 7 days ago)

“the hoxton pony is my favourite! amazing and stylish bar with gorgeous people and music from all decades. I love wide choice of cocktails and never can try them all, because there are many new cocktails every month:)”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
0 Josephine Bo, London (1 years 5 months 4 days ago)

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Additional Information

• Cuisine Type: British
• Average Price: £15.00
• Dress Code: Not Specified
• Group: (Independent/Freehouse)