Le QuecumBar & Brasserie Review

Best for: A romantic date.

Great: Pork Chops and Banoffie Pie.

No, it’s not named after cucumbers, but if you were thinking it’s because you have to ‘queue to come to the bar’, you’d be right (I bet you weren’t). Oh, hello Bad Self. I don’t remember inviting you along? (Well, you know Good Self, I just do what I want. I am Bad Self, after all).

So this gorgeous little French restaurant really is a Lotus flower in the earth (or a weed in the mud). Off the beaten track in Battersea, it’s the type of restaurant that needs seeking out. Sitting at an intimate candlelit table, the glee of my eyes are the beautiful lights, shimmering like fairies beneath a shadowed moon, shaded slightly by creeping plants and deep red hibiscus-like flowers (it’s as if someone’s forgotten to take down the Christmas decorations).

Sitting quietly, drinking a smooth Casato Pinot Grigio (made in Italy! I thought this was a French restaurant?!) - there isn’t a big variety of beers either - I reflect, admiring the fresh flora, thinking of Italy in the summer (or the back of an overgrown garden centre). Would you be quiet please, Bad Self? (Nup.)

I enjoy the Edith Piaf surroundings, especially the sound of the French jazz. And staff are ever-so Gung Ho, full of smiles, and so quick on their feet that one would think they have springs in their shoes.

Le Quecumbar reminds me of a vision in which the gray, gorgeous men and women, with a few mesmerising gypsy looking young ladies and equally handsome young men, turn into flapper girls and men in corners losing themselves in puffs of smoke. We simply lose ourselves in the beauty of the place, but are soon distracted by the arrival of food.

Starter: an absolutely overpriced antipasto platter (for two). A few salamis, taramasalata and pita bread are not worth £15. And there’s something fishy about the taramasalata; just can’t put my finger on it. Oh, I know. It just isn’t very fishy.

By now the acclaimed Lollo Meier French Jazz band have started playing – the guitar player looks somewhat like Liam Neeson (Nup. Worse; he looks like David Cameron and you know it). Or maybe, Bad Self, you’re still miffed at the expensive Antipasto.

Other than that, I will concede that the rest of the menu is fair in flavour, and fair in price. You won’t pay much more than £13 for a main. Our choices for the evening are Beef Bourguignon and Pork Chops. From my experience, it’s not often one gets pork chops on a menu, so it’s a unique option for my date; and a good one. I feel jealous of his chops. (Only because your beef tastes just like the steak and ale pie you had at the pub on Sunday!) True, but still, his chops are good. And the chips that came with them were cooked with their skin on; a rarity nowadays.

So as the fiddler is bopping and the singer swaying, Banoffie Pie is lovingly brought to us on a plate. With chocolate flakes a flutter on top, it’s almost hard to ruin the look. (Ruin it... RUIN IT I SAY!) So we do, one scrumptious bite at a time.

The night moves on, and so does the band (YAWN! Only after about five encores!). The worst part of the night is also lovingly brought out to us on a plate. Perfectly presented, there it glows in all its fullness under the candlelight: that little thing called the bill. We’re overcharged for our drinks, (I’m with you on this one Good Self) and when we try to dispute it, we’re told “We only charged you for 4, but there was probably more”. And that is when I feel the need for Bad Me to take over, since the Good Me loses all virtue, graciousness and tolerance. To add insult to injury, they only accept cash since a few days before a “customer threw the machine against a wall and broke it”. (Because you overcharged them too?).

On my way out the twinkling fairy lights seem dimmer, the beautiful decor somewhat tainted, and for some reason there’s a sour taste left in my mouth. Bad Self, I don’t like you to win, but today I think you just might.
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Le QuecumBar & Brasserie Description

We are the worlds only dedicated Django Reinhardt venue. An intimate 1930 Parisian Brasserie and wine bar with music mood wine and food - we have a summer tropical garden and a mixed clientèle of celebrities and faces who visit for the weekend ticketed Prestige Performance Concerts featuring the worlds best Gypsy Swing players - Gypsy Swing guitar heaven.

Customer Reviews for Le QuecumBar & Brasserie

Average (based on 9 votes): 9 Atmosphere: Value: Quality:

The following customer reviews are not endorsed by Fluid London and are simply those of users who wish to publish their independent experiences of Le QuecumBar & Brasserie.

“Three Yanks walked into a bar... I was in London for a business meeting and convinced 2 of my co-workers to go hear some Gyspy Jazz at Le QuecumBar. Although I had never been before, I had heard of it thorough numerous Gypsy Jazz blogs. My buddies were skeptical but had nothing better to do... The long, winding cab ride was worth it. We got there early and were able to secure a table in front of the stage to watch Stu Blagden and his "mates" play joyful Django styled jazz. Great food, tasty "vittles" (a Texas word), and an overall fun atmosphere. It's as close as I'll come to experiencing the "Bals" of Pigalle in the '20s. Well worth the 4758 mile journey. I hope to become a regular by returning each time I travel to London.”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
John Kindervag, Dallas, TX (1 years 1 months 25 days ago)

“This is a lovely place to go and eat. The staff are pretty friendly, but you can't be homophobic. The food really is very homely, and scrumptious. It's not badly priced, and my boyfriend and I had a pretty romantic time with the fairy lights and music.”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
Belinda, london (1 years 2 months 4 days ago)

“Great music, average food... house wine is Spanish. Loud owner who drank a bit too much very keen on arguing, threw a bottle of water at us when leaving the place (and the bill was paid!)”
Atmosphere: Value: Quality:
Giulia, London (4 years 3 months 17 days ago)

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Le QuecumBar & Brasserie Opening Hours

Additional Information

• Cuisine Type: Brasserie
• Average Price: £25
• Dress Code: Smart
• Group: (Independent/Freehouse)